Sunday, June 14, 2009


Light and dark - late afternoon shadows on a driveway.

I always wonder how much to say. Some of my favorite blogs are written by very emotionally open women who share a lot of their internal lives. Me, not so much, I tend to stick to tales of my painting and glass work. Sometimes I show off lighter bits of my family life and happy snaps of my poodles, but that's it.

Right now there's sunlight and shadow in my life. I am days away from turning 50. It's, not surprisingly, a rather reflective time for me. I am finding that being half a century old is very sobering.

Oddly my karma seems way out of whack and I'm not sure why. Many disparate forces in my life seem hell bent on making things difficult and sad. I am becoming a miserable, unpleasant, tired old soup of indignant and depressed.

I'll tell you a secret - when I was little I wanted to grow up to be a hermit.

1 comment:

lotusgreen said...

i love watching, being inside of, the lights and shadows when they're like that. they are not still.

i so identify with what you say. in fact, in a way it's something i've been dealing with a lot just this week.

you know how sometimes some cog slips into place and then suddenly a bunch of other things fall into place behind it. that's this week. but it's a new knowledge and it's not integrated so it's not comfortable.

i'm trying to remember turning 50. happy birthday, dear, first of all. but i can't remember very well. i seem to recall, though, that there was something i liked about it very much, which was a surprise.

turning 60 was the first time i went -- WHAT??!! fucking 60??! but i've grown into this too, i guess.